tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post3082991210085382421..comments2023-09-17T08:25:04.078-04:00Comments on A Thousand Oceans: I don't know what I want anymoreA.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-44055592246870036582012-07-31T00:04:48.991-04:002012-07-31T00:04:48.991-04:00Thank you so much, Mika. I am so sorry for the los...Thank you so much, Mika. I am so sorry for the loss of Luke and Arthur. I will be interested to hear what you decide re: immune testing since as you know, it is an avenue we are considering as well. I am wishing you lots of luck and clarity as you move forward.A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-21489425930571537542012-07-31T00:02:25.096-04:002012-07-31T00:02:25.096-04:00Thanks, Catherine. Yes - the uncertainty has alway...Thanks, Catherine. Yes - the uncertainty has always been one of the things I have struggled with most. I always say if I could know with certainty that we would some day get that elusive happy ending, even if it would mean x years or x ivfs or whatever, it would be much easier to go along with with the idea that I was pacing myself in a marathon, rather than that sinking feeling that no matter what I do, maybe it's all for naught.A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-91212808597621500082012-07-30T23:58:36.485-04:002012-07-30T23:58:36.485-04:00Thanks, DB. You've been in my thoughts a lot l...Thanks, DB. You've been in my thoughts a lot lately.A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-20912079012275062192012-07-30T23:47:35.860-04:002012-07-30T23:47:35.860-04:00This exactly. I struggle so much with this - actua...This exactly. I struggle so much with this - actually the topic of a future post - the notion of being owed or deserving something and how ridiculously hard it is to throw that idea out the window, as illogical as it might be, when with so many things in life, we work hard for something, hard work pays off, we get it. For me, anyway, that is pretty much all I ever knew until infertility and pregnancy loss.A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-43465758007649527532012-07-29T17:39:47.611-04:002012-07-29T17:39:47.611-04:00Hi I haven't replied before, but started follo...Hi I haven't replied before, but started following your thread quiet recently.Firstly I would like to offer my deepest sympathy on the loss of your twins Aminadav and Naava...<br /><br /> Our stories are very similar. I lost my twins in December at 24.5 weeks Baby Luke was stillborn and Baby Arthur lived in neonatal for 2 weeks and 1 day... The twins were conceived on my third IVF. I also had two cancelled IVF's. I was eager to get going again and in May I did A FET I had a BFN, I went straight into another FET in July and got a BFN yesterday. Its so hard to be grieving for the twins and for the failed cycles.. I am now too at a cross roads and I am asking what to do next. I write on a forum and the women there suggested the immune testing. I have tried researching on Internet but not having any luck.. I had a laparoscopy before starting IVF they found nothing. <br /><br />I already changed clinics once and had the pregnancy with the twins so I do think it is a good idea to try a different clinic if only for one go then I guess there is no what if's...<br /><br />My DH is totally against adoption as well.. I have been thinking about it and feel it would be unfair to bring a child into a family when one parent doesn't want it.. As we have been at this now for years age is also a major factor now... <br /><br />I will try one more fresh cycle but need to heal after this failed cycle.. I hope to try again in October but would like to find out more about immune bloods first.. I read a quote on glow in the woods by Thomas Edison and thought it was fitted my situation.. 'Our weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to always try one more time'.. <br /><br />I do hope you find your answer, I think you will when you feel ready xxMikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09212217454247469739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-41265618051481541522012-07-27T17:59:46.207-04:002012-07-27T17:59:46.207-04:00It feels like a cruel science experiment - mostly ...<i>It feels like a cruel science experiment - mostly cruel to the to-be conceived baby - to attempt to carry him/her when my ability to do so, at least in my mind, is so gravely in question.</i><br /><br />I felt this, in so far as I can without having gone through fertility treatment, because I just didn't know if I could carry a baby to viability. I had my twins so early and then I had an early miscarriage after that. It's a cruel place to be in and I'm so very sorry you find yourself here. <br /><br />As DandelionBreeze says, it is the uncertainty that can be so awfully hard to take. I hope that you and your husband can reach a decision on the way forward and I wish you the very, very best with any path that you decided to pursue.Catherine Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01618295389400457254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-74517233521162838252012-07-25T09:44:04.228-04:002012-07-25T09:44:04.228-04:00Wishing you peace as you reach a decision on which...Wishing you peace as you reach a decision on which path(s) to follow.Elizabeth :: Bébé Suissehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12611974492044450702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-91832120872508093982012-07-24T23:55:50.956-04:002012-07-24T23:55:50.956-04:00I feel for you with all my heart... all those opti...I feel for you with all my heart... all those options are so hard but there may not be any harm in option 1 - with an opinion of what can be offered in a new country. The uncertaintly of IF and all that comes with ART is heartbreaking. Uncertainty is the one thing that I find hardest to deal with. Love to you always xoxoDandelionBreezehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06988561541523178095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-81710274380723645192012-07-24T11:46:01.889-04:002012-07-24T11:46:01.889-04:00While I don't have any great advice, I do know...While I don't have any great advice, I do know that for me, miscarriage after stillbirth has been brutal. The miscarriage has shaken my confidence in a whole new way. I think without really realizing it, I felt we were *owed* a successful pregnancy after all we'd been through. Experiencing another miscarriage just reinforces how shitty and random and unfair it all really is. I hope that some next steps, whatever they are, start to take shape for you or that you can feel a bit of peace about not knowing...March is for daffodilshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11287273786322029725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-44021412623320797652012-07-23T23:18:45.623-04:002012-07-23T23:18:45.623-04:00I think we all have to go through this at some poi...I think we all have to go through this at some point. Question more, further testing, jump back in or quit for a while. It's a tough decision. Take your time deciding and eventually you will come to the right decision for you and hubby. Having things go unexplained is really painful and doesn't inspire confidence to move forward. I'm sorry you are having to go through all of this.ADSchillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13972164121690415796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-11648163530734732112012-07-23T23:17:05.459-04:002012-07-23T23:17:05.459-04:00Thanks, I am still following you and those adorabl...Thanks, I am still following you and those adorable babies, too!A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-79164248102203272032012-07-23T23:16:32.484-04:002012-07-23T23:16:32.484-04:00That is what I am afraid of - that while taking a ...That is what I am afraid of - that while taking a break seems nice now, the more time that passes, the harder it is going to be to get back into the thick of it, you know?A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-25447500264344874042012-07-23T23:15:38.963-04:002012-07-23T23:15:38.963-04:00Thanks and you are right - many of the choices on ...Thanks and you are right - many of the choices on the list are not mutually exclusive.A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-19813260955879961692012-07-23T23:14:53.314-04:002012-07-23T23:14:53.314-04:00Yeah, me too - it is a pretty stressful year in ou...Yeah, me too - it is a pretty stressful year in our lives to have made this move but I hope it will bring us good things, even if I don't know exactly what they are yet.A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-37585034902446716632012-07-23T23:13:59.390-04:002012-07-23T23:13:59.390-04:00Thanks, Emily - I hope we choose a path that will ...Thanks, Emily - I hope we choose a path that will make us both feel happy, too!A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00949343025406168591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-70986098492155676782012-07-23T20:30:48.354-04:002012-07-23T20:30:48.354-04:00This is so difficult. There are so many options an...This is so difficult. There are so many options and what ifs. Unfortunately I can't give you any insight as to where to go next. I just wanted to tell you we are here supporting you in whatever you do and hoping you chose the path that will make you and your Hubby happy. Hugz!Emily @ablanket2keephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10398858102692984237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-29892211653006014992012-07-23T19:32:18.280-04:002012-07-23T19:32:18.280-04:00You have a lot of options, and this isn't an e...You have a lot of options, and this isn't an easy choice. Whatever you decide will be the right choice for you. I hope you're adjusting to your new home and city well. I wish this move was taking place at a better time for you!sass @ (In)fertility Unexplainedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06322070279032931788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-351282275586301422012-07-23T10:01:55.937-04:002012-07-23T10:01:55.937-04:00First of all, I love that you are reading Fertilit...First of all, I love that you are reading Fertility & Sterility. Academic geekiness FTW! As far as your next steps, I would say that you can start on 4, 6, and 7 without having to make an immediate decision on 1, 2, 3, or 5. Finding things that will help you to heal - as much as you can heal, I know that phrase can sound ridiculous after such an awful event - will be helpful no matter what route you decide to pursue medically. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide.Charlottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13456928849826400461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-89291917368732981942012-07-23T01:45:23.626-04:002012-07-23T01:45:23.626-04:00I think you should set up and appointment with the...I think you should set up and appointment with the recommended doctor in Toronto. A break is good, but don't take a very long one.<br /><br />IVF as a lifestyle? Infertility and its shenanigans become a lifestyle on its own...<br /><br />This wanting to be pregnant, and being scared? I know it. <br /><br />Many hugs. There are no 'the answers'...St Elsewherehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08074672268757885766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-43474547983914656262012-07-22T22:18:10.380-04:002012-07-22T22:18:10.380-04:00I am so sorry for all the feelings that you are ex...I am so sorry for all the feelings that you are experiencing! I wish you the best in whatever you choose.Lesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17635695705004799302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-33844508181468417332012-07-22T19:59:13.313-04:002012-07-22T19:59:13.313-04:00I haven't commented in a while, but I've b...I haven't commented in a while, but I've been following your journey closely and just want you to know that you're in my thoughts. I wish you peace and healing, whatever road you choose.Mrs. Ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14442574272607877031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2490179268765761075.post-77185210326598786262012-07-22T18:02:39.398-04:002012-07-22T18:02:39.398-04:00It is terrifying. I'm pregnant now after two l...It is terrifying. I'm pregnant now after two losses, and its no picnic. And it is all so very traumatic. I hear you about the endo fears, it does come with a higher risk and while plenty of women with this condition carry safely to term, it is still extremely scary for the term of the pregnancy. <br /><br />I definitely think additional surgery probably will hurt more than it helps.<br /><br />Is surrogacy on your horizon at all? You would be an ideal candidate for it, from the sounds of it, there is little issue with your embryos.<br /><br />In the meantime, going to see the counselor sounds like an excellent idea. This is a difficult crossroads you are at.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com