well, hello again!

I was in a pretty bad place emotionally last time I posted. I wish that when I got into a funk, I could write through it, and use blogging or journaling as a means to work through my negativity and disappointment. Unfortunately, when I start feeling really crappy about things, I have a tendency to turn inward and lose any desire I have to write about what I am experiencing.

This current cycle was a bit odd. When I went for my usual CD 10 ultrasound after 5 nights of injects, I had 4 follies, all at the same size. Even though they weren't nearing maturity yet and I seemed to be responding more slowly than normal, I was really nervous that all 4 would stick together while maturing and my cycle would get cancelled due to risk of HOM. Also, since I was already on a low dose of Puregon, there wasn't really an option to go lower in light of the 4 follies.

I kept stimming at the same dose and then went back two days later, only to find that my follies hadn't matured at all since my last u/s, and my E2 was actually dropping instead of going up. It was then decided to double my Puregon dose and to give this cycle another try. After 11 days of injects, I was finally ready to trigger with 2 mature follies. We had IUI#6 on March 22.

I am actually feeling pretty zen about this whole 2ww. The day after our IUI, I flew to the states for a conference at a ski resort out west. I am still there now, and have been enjoying a week of great science, great sport (one plus of not being pregnant, I guess), and beautiful views with tons and tons of the powdery white stuff. I do miss Y a lot and look forward to being reunited next week. Getting away and the change of scenery has helped my mood and also knowing that come next week, I will either be pregnant or we will be moving on to IVF (IVF consult is scheduled for April 7). Anyway, it's good to be back:)

Sorry

Sorry I haven't been updating. I've just been too down to write much of anything worth reading. We are on our 6th IUI cycle and the one thing I know is that emotionally, 6 just feels like too many of the same thing. I hope I will be back soon and in a happier place.