Happy New Years! (and IUI #3)

Oh man, I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted! I fried the motherhood (sorry, motherboard, Freudian slip...but thought I'd keep it:) on my 3-year-old Macbook and am now waiting until my next trip to the states to replace it, so my computer time has been pretty much reduced to whenever I can sneak onto Y's computer or find a free few moments at work. Since it's been over a week, this post is probably going to be somewhat of a smorgasboard.

First, last Wednesday I went in for my CD14 monitoring ultrasound. Since in the past I haven't O'ed on Clomid CDs 5-9 until CD16 or 17, I wasn't particularly concerned that CD14 was too late. I was floored when the ultrasound technician mumbled "That's a little strange" (famous last words at most of monitoring appointments so that part in of itself was not particularly surprising) and then proceeded to tell me that I had two mature follicles at 25 mm and 26 mm already on CD14. The good news is that at least I didn't overrespond with a zillion measurable but not mature follicles this time, but it was still a little unsettling that they were that big at CD14 and also that I hadn't ovulated them naturally already at that size.

I was told to trigger immediately and return in the morning for our IUI. I worried that I would ovulate on my own before the IUI, and sure enough my temp was up almost a full degree the morning of the IUI. Strangely, I had a lot of discomfort and fullness on my right side above my hip bone a few hours after the IUI to the point that I couldn't stand or walk comfortably. Being Debbie Downer, I jumped to the conclusion that maybe one of those huge follicles was actually a functional cyst, but the pain disappeared by the next morning, so who really knows what was going on.

I don't know what the heck to expect this cycle, but as usual, I undulate about 30 times an hour between daydreaming about those two (very robust or very over-ripe?) follicles that are surely developing into healthy twins with a combined IQ of 500 as we speak and feeling sorry for my broken self who in all likelihood will face either another BFN or another miscarriage in the coming weeks. Thinking of all of you wonderful ladies, and hoping that in 2011 all of our wildest dreams will come true!

I kidnap babies in my dreams

A few nights ago I was having a particularly fitful night of sleep. I woke up tired and with a slight recollection of having dreamt a lot. I didn't really think anything of it or waste any mental energy to figure out what I had been dreaming out. Not until I was on my way to work and a mother with the most beautiful baby sat next to me.

I know I stared for too long...inappropriately long. I've started staring at babies for longer than I think is really socially acceptable. At first I didn't notice that I had been doing it, but I am pretty sure you're not supposed to stare longingly like that. Anyway, then I suddenly remembered what I had been dreaming about. The fact that seeing this baby jogged my memory sort of creeped me out.

In my dream, I was with Y and for some reason we just happened to be at the hospital together waiting for something. We saw this baby boy, not an infant, maybe about a year old. Someone then explained to us that he had some terrible medical condition (maybe a social worker maybe a nurse...unclear). They told us that he was abandoned and that his parents didn't want him. The weird thing is, as far as I can remember in the dream, there was no formal adoption process. I just told Y that I wanted him so we took him home and he was ours. We became parents as simple as that - just a morning outing spent in a hospital waiting room:-/

The only conclusion I can come to is that I have some latent subconscious urge to take off with an unwanted child. I think it takes a special kind of crazy to have those kind of dreams (not the kind of happy-go-lucky, frilly pink dreams where you're pushing a healthy, beautiful baby in a stroller who got there by virtue of your uterus).

The only other baby-related dream I've had that competes in craziness is the one I had the night after we found out we were pregnant in October. In our dream, we were having our first ultrasound and the RE said quite matter-of-factly "The good news is that you have eight embryos implanted. The bad news is that none of them are viable as far as I can tell." Only my dreams reveal how truly crazy I am. In other news, CD1 surprised me out of nowhere on Thursday (I hadn't ovulated and was on CD32), so looks like we're back in the game. If all goes to plan, this cycle will be IUI #3. Tomorrow I go in for my CD3 (really CD4) bloodwork.