Mar 10, 2012

Aminadav and Naava

Aminadav and Naava were born on March 7 at 10:30 pm. They were perfect and beautiful in every way but born too soon and too small to survive. Aminadav's water broke on the morning of March 4, believed to be the result of the partial abruption of his placenta, which occurred three weeks earlier. Both of my sweet babies were alive until the end, even my poor Aminadav who was lying across the top of my cervix unable to move with no amniotic fluid at all. Aminadav came out blue - clearly he was suffering those last few days - but my beautiful Naava was healthy and pink.

There is a Midrash in the rabbinic retelling of the Exodus from Egypt where Nachson ben Aminadav jumps into the water of the Red Sea first before the instruction is given, showing his courage and bravery and prompting G-d to split the Red Sea so the rest of the Jews could pass safely across the water to freedom from slavery. Naava means beautiful. Aminadav and Naava - our son and daughter. I wish we got to spend the rest of our lives getting to know our first- and second-born and letting them know how much we love them.

77 comments:

  1. Oh dear god. I'm so, so very sorry. I am crying here. Words are completely inadequate at a time like this.

    Those are beautiful names.

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  2. I am soo, soo, sorry. May their memories be a blessing.

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  3. Sending lots of hugs your way. I'm so sorry for the loss of your twins. I'm a new reader to your blog, but I'm here if you ever want to talk. I lost my twins a little over 2 years ago.

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  4. I am so incredibly sorry. I really have no words to tell you how sorry I am. I'm crying for you, now. You and your beautiful son and daughter are in my heart. Sending much love.

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  5. I wish I had something, anything to give that would ease your pain. I am so very sorry. I hope you find peace. So sorry.

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  6. I am so, so, so sorry. Their names are beautiful, and so meaningful. My heart aches for you.

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  7. Rachel @ Eggs in a Row brought this to my attention. There are no words to express this level of sorrow... I wish these things never happened, but especially to someone who has worked so hard. Your family and your beautiful children will be in my prayers.

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  8. So sorry for your loss. Thinking of and sending love to you and your family.

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  9. I am deeply deeply sorry. My heart is breaking for you. I wish I could say something to make it better.

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  10. I am so sorry for your losses. My heart breaks for you. Lots of hugs and prayers.

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  11. This is devastating. I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  12. A. I'm so so sorry. Sorry that you had to say goodbye so soon. I'm sure they were beautiful and perfect. I will never forget them.

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  13. I am so, so sorry for your loss. It is completely unfair and I hope you are getting lots of love and support.

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  14. Oh no. I can not begin to express who incredibly sorry I am. I am thinking of you and your family and sending you peace and love.

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  15. My heart is breaking for you. I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of Aminadav and Naava. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  16. I have never been to your blog A, but I feel a strange connection with you. My name is also Alissa and I conceived my twins Michael and Alena via IVF as well. They also passed away in October at 19w6d/20 weeks. If anyone understands this kind of heartwrenching loss it's me. I came over from Mommy Odyssey's blog after hearing what's happened and I immediately began crying.
    I am so so sorry. I know you don't know me, but I'm here for you if you need anything. I'm thinking about your precious babies.
    MissConception
    Here is my direct link:
    http://missconception-ads.blogspot.com/

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  17. I am sitting here at 17 weeks on my 7th week of bedrest in Australia. And from the other side of the world via Mo's blog, I feel for you and your family. I am so sorry your precious twins did not live. It is a terrible loss. I hope the days and weeks ahead are kind to you, and that you reach a place of peace in the remembrance of them.

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  18. I know you're hurting right now and I wish there was something I could do. I lost my beautiful boy at 20 weeks as well over a year ago and I remember thinking I wouldn't survive the broken heart. But I have and you will too. Lean on those who love you.

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  19. I am so very sorry. I have been following your story for awhile--I'm sure your heart is breaking. We are all here for you!

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  20. I am so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your babies. My heart breaks for you.

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  21. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. Hope you are surrounded with support and love. There are no words to describe the pain and sorrow.

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  22. I am so very so for your loss, Alissa. I lost my fraternal twins, Aliya and Bennett, on August 5th of last year after my daughter's amniotic sac ruptured. She was my Baby A and had had an abruption 7 weeks before, but the ultimate cause was preterm labor due to an infection caused by a bleeding endocervical polyp. This is a very tough road, but there are so many loving women walking this path with us, showing us the way. Big hugs...

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  23. Here via Eggs in a Row - I am so very sorry for the loss of your twins. Much love and you and your husband.

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  24. Sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way!

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  25. I am so sorry. This is unimaginable. My thoughts and per ayers are with you and your family.

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  26. I am so very sorry for your loss. Know that I'm thinking about you and sending you healing thoughts.

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  27. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you. The names you chose are so beautiful.

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  28. I am so sorry. Keeping you and your Hubby in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you two lost of love. We are all here for you.

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  29. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and your family.

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  30. I am so very sorry for your losses. Great name for 2 beautiful angels.

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  31. I am so incredibly sorry. I don't even have the words.

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  32. I was so sad to hear the news - my heart breaks for you. I will be keeping your family in my T&P's over the weeks and months to come.

    Huge (((hugs)))
    Aegis2005

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  33. Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry. I really thought this would have a happy ending.

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  34. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your husband during this tragic time. May God heal your heart and bring you comfort.

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  35. I am truly sorry for your loss and wish you peace in the coming days.

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  36. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  37. I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  38. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  39. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you're feeling right now. Just 5 months ago we lost our twins also a boy and a girl. It so heartbreaking and not fair :( I'm so so sorry.

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  40. i have no words..... please know you are in my thougts and prayers.
    XOXOXOXO

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  41. Here from Mommy Odyssey's blog...

    Just wanted to tell you how sorry I am, and I am wishing your babies eternal peace.

    They were much wanted and loved.

    Please take care of yourself. This is going to be a very difficult phase.

    And you chose beautiful names for the two.

    xo

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  42. I am so sorry for your loss. you are in my thoughts.
    hugs

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  43. I am so sorry about your loss. You are in my thoughts.

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  44. I am so sorry for your losses. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

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  45. I am so, so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  46. I am so sorry. No parent should ever know this pain.

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  47. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time. Please know that the loving arms of this on-line community are encircling you, giving you strength.

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  48. I am so, so sorry, A. Love to you.

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  49. I am so very very sorry.

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  50. I am so very sorry for your loss. No one should have to go through such an ordeal. My heart goes out to you.

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  51. I am so sorry for your loss. Beautiful names. I wish so much that they could have stayed with you. All of you are in my thoughts. Abiding with you in spirit.

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  52. I'm so sorry. For some reason your page hadn't updated with this latest update and I just wrote you a comment on your last post that is obviously irrelevant, please completely disregard it.

    My heart is breaking for you and your family. Much love and prayers.

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  53. I am so, so very sorry for your losses.

    If/when you are ready, there is now a late Loss board on the Bump if you need some support. Again, I'm so very sorry. (lissasue)

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  54. Gah. There are no words. I am so, so sorry about the loss of your beautiful, much loved, and much longed for babies. Sending love and peace and healing your way.

    Hugs,
    Jo

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  55. My heart goes out to you. I delivered twin boys at 26w after pPROM at 24w, and neither of them survived the NICU. This is an awful journey, and all I can tell you is that it does get easier, life will never be the same, but time does help. Please reach out if there is anything I can do for you.

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  56. I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending you thoughts of comfort and healing at this time.

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  57. Here from Miss Conception's blog. I am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss.

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  58. So sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  59. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet babies.

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  60. Here from LFCA. I am so, so sorry for your loss ... there are no words. Abiding with you, and keeping you in my thoughts.

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  61. My heart and thoughts are with you and your babies.... I'm so so sorry to hear. Their names are beautiful. Thinking of you and sending you all my love xoxo

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  63. Here from Alissa's blog. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
    Wishing you grace and strength.

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  64. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something more helpful to say.... your children will always live in your heart.

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  65. I am so, so, sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine your heartbreak. I am sending you prayers and good thoughts.

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  66. I'm so so sorry for your loss :(

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  67. Here from Mo and LFCA to say I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your darling twins. My love and prayers to you and your family as you travel this heartbreaking road. May you find peace and healing in knowing that they were loved so much, even before they arrived.

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  68. A, I was so saddened to read this update. You are in my thoughts.

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  69. Here from LFCA today. I wish I had better words than I am so very sorry. Sending you peace and love.

    xoxo

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  70. A, I am just floored for you. Sending you much love and happy thoughts.

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  71. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Wishing strength for you...

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  72. Here from LFCA. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  73. Very very sorry to hear this. You have my prayers.

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  74. I'm so sorry for your loss of your beautiful children.

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  75. I've been there... Reading your words breaks my heart and I'm sending much love your way. (here from LFCA)

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