well, hello there :)

After a lengthy break, I am going to try to get back into the writing groove again. I know I have been pretty silent over the last few months, but I have been following along in my reader most days and thinking of all the courageous, strong, smart, and funny women out there. My grief does tend to turn me inwards for long periods of time and it is hard for me to write, but now that we are getting back into the concrete stuff, there should be more to write about than my sadness.

Where are we? Well probably pretty close to getting right back in the thick of things. After our long Canadian-style wait, we have 2 consults coming up the week after next. I am due to get AF in a few days and then I go to get my AMH drawn and the usual CD3 bloodwork. Y did a new S/A last week and he also did the DNA fragmentation test for the first time.

I have a SHG scheduled for the week after this coming one, right before we dive into the consults. The SHG will be important because we need to reach a final consensus on those damn fibroids before proceeding (the current leaning is no surgery, but we need to reach a confident decision) and because it will hopefully rule out scar tissue/adhesions.

My cycles have been a good deal shorter and lighter since I gave birth and the complications that came after, so the hope is that the shorter and lighter cycles are a good thing and not indicative of Asherman's Syndrome, which I am unfortunately at pretty high risk for due to my history of multiple D&Cs and retained placenta.

I am sure I will have lots to talk about when we look into both clinics we are considering. Both clinics have different options which could be interesting or useful to us -- Clinic A has a very well-regarded RPL specialist who conducts clinical trials in that area. They also do a lot of blastocyst transfer and offer PGS (need to clarify which type of PGS). Clinic B offers endometrial co-culture and routinely prescribes intralipids.

We might end up not going for any extra bells and whistles at all, but it will definitely be interesting to learn about the different possibilities and also to have a fresh set of eyes review our case. All that being said, I am still feeling ambivalent about getting back into cycling from an emotional perspective, not to mention the immense cost.

In short, these upcoming consults will hopefully be worthwhile and interesting but we are not yet 100% committed to cycling again in the near future. Also, the SHG results could be a big game changer -- potentially surgery vs. beginning the path of working towards surrogacy if Asherman's is an issue.

This past cycle has been somewhat of a hail-Mary-type (I don't think we have an equivalent expression in Judaism) long-shot attempt...since I am still unexplained and we thought it was uncanny that the 2/5 IVF transfers that yielded a positive pregnancy test were the only transfers I took Prednisone, we did a cheapy Clomid/Prednisone cycle this month just for the hell of it before we prepare to shell-out big time to re-enter the IVF circuit. I will of course let you guys know if anything comes of it, but it is a real long-shot.