Today we went in for our first ultrasound - a day earlier than planned due to some pretty bad cramping I've been having. I have been really terrified the past few days, so I was really happy to get it over with. Thankfully, the news is good.
We have one beautiful squiggly measuring a day ahead (6w6d) with a heart rate of 139bpm. I am happy. I am feeling more hopeful than I have in a very long time. I was terrified that we would see an empty sac, but I was also really scared we'd see more than one baby. Twins are so special and wonderful, but after losing Aminadav and Naava, a twin pregnancy is too risky for us. With a singleton, I hope I will have a good shot of carrying close to term. Of course we have a LONG way to go before we are back to the prematurity/PTL concerns.
I will do another ultrasound next Thursday and then we will take it from there. This was my first pregnancy-related ultrasound in Canada and it was weird to me that they didn't allow Y into the room, didn't let me see the screen, and would only give me results via my doctor. It felt really paternalistic to be honest. However, they did give me a nice picture of Squiggly. It feels so strange to say that I am feeling happy and peaceful, but it's true!
For those just joining us through ICLW, welcome! For a brief recap, we recently learned that we are rather unexpectedly though wonderfully pregnant after a long-shot Clomid/Prednisone cycle while waiting to start a new IVF. We started fertility treatments in August 2010 and since then we've done 6 IUIs and 5 IVF transfers (3 fresh, 2 frozen).
We've had many failed treatment cycles and several losses - two early miscarriages and the loss of our beautiful twins, Aminadav and Naava, who were born catastrophically early last March due to PPROM/PTL.
This blog has been an infertility blog turned pregnancy after infertility blog turned infertility blog many times over. Through the past few years, I've written quite a bit about unexplained infertility, the IVF process, miscarriage, high-risk pregnancy, and baby loss. The posts that are most meaningful to me are those about Aminadav and Naava, my lost hopes and dreams for them, and my grief.
Whatever brings you to our community, I am so sorry for your struggles. This is a sucky club to be a part of, but thankfully for us it is populated by many courageous, funny, resilient, and bright women.