Today I am 6w3d. Last Monday I had my 3rd beta draw at 25 dpiui (5w4d). My hcg level was 3567, up from 279 at 18 dpiui, so thankfully my numbers were doubling nicely. We also saw Prof. L that same afternoon. He answered many of our remaining questions about lean PCOS, PCOS and miscarriages, and my over-response to the Clomid last treatment cycle. He did do an u/s, though he warned us that there would likely not be much to see. All we could really see was a small gestational sac, but it did give us peace of mind that at least Baby G implanted in my uterus. Also, we only saw one sac, so while we can't quite yet rule out multiples, all indications point towards a singleton pregnancy.
Prof. L told us that our chances of an early miscarriage are 15%, compared to the normal 10% (50% higher than average), but if we are able to detect a fetal heartbeat, the chance will decrease to ~7% and will again further decrease to 3% at 12 weeks. I am still so scared but at the same time so hopeful, too. When I was struggling to get pregnant, it was difficult to think beyond the excitement and thrill of some time getting a BFP. Now that I am there, I haven't really experienced the ecstacy I imagined because I am so frightened to lose the little life growing inside me. I am so scared of waking up one day soon to "game over" and having to go back to square one with the dreaded fertility treatments.
Everything about this process has been so hard and uncertain until now, it is difficult to imagine that anything could proceed smoothly without lots of emotional pain. In short, after a lot of disappointment, finally being pregnant just feels too good to be true. I am just trying to remember, that even if our odds ARE worse than the average couple, the odds are still in our favor that this pregnancy will continue and we will get our Baby G at the end of it all.
This weekend I had some serious stomach issues. We went up to the Golan for Shabbat and I was scared I was going to not make it during the 3 hour car ride. Thankfully, Y picked up some Zofran before we started our trip and things got much better for me. Since then I have felt much, much better.
Our next u/s will be next Sunday (exactly a week from today) at 7w3d. Unfortunately, Y won't be able to join me because the appointment will be in the middle of the day, the only appointment time we could get. We have another u/s at 9w0d, and then assuming all is well until that point, the next time I will see Prof. L is at 10w0d. I pray that I will get to see our baby's strong and perfect heartbeat next Sunday, the most beautiful image I can possibly imagine.