the waiting room game

During the past year, I have spent a lot of idle time twiddling my thumbs in the waiting room of the fertility clinic or the waiting room of the ultrasound clinic (about 50% of my monitoring ultrasounds have been at the fertility clinic, while the other half I've had at the ob/gyn ultrasound clinic located in the same hospital as the fertility clinic). I usually try to bring an article or book with me to pass the time, but I'm invariably too anxious to fully concentrate and instead end up using most of my time in the waiting room to assess the other clientele.

Perhaps my fascination with the other people in the waiting room stems partially from having never met any other IFers in real life (I am sure that we know couples we are struggling with IF, but none who have discussed it openly with us). I always wonder why the other women are there, what treatment they are doing, how long they've been trying, etc. I also tend to jump to conclusions about their story based on their attitude (some women come in grinning from ear to ear, others are crying, some are visibly worried or annoyed etc.).

At the ultrasound clinic, most of the women are visibly pregnant, there with spouses, and generally happy and excited, so it is easy to guess what their story must be. At the same time, you see plenty of women who aren't visibly pregnant and/or who appear nervous, worried, or sad. I bet that as an ob/gyn ultrasound technician you get to deliver mostly good news and spend most of your days among couples who are happy and excited, but that you also see your share of awful tragedy as well.

I have always found it interesting that those of us who occupy the fertility clinic waiting room often suffer so much alone in silence and use the internet to find comraderie and other women like ourselves and yet, we spend so much time physically among our own ranks in the waiting room, but do not speak a word. I am not saying that I wish people did speak to each other in the waiting room. In fact, I have pretty ambivalent feelings about being approached by anyone in that setting. Frankly, as nosy (and perhaps hypocritical) as I am, I enjoy my privacy and would rather not be questioned by strangers when I am feeling so anxious and vulnerable. I just think the dynamic is interesting. So, am I the only one who is so helplessly curious and nosy about all those other women in the waiting room or are you sizing me up, too? :)