Aug 7, 2011

moving on to FET #2

Today I went in for my clinic appointment. We have two frozen embryos left in a single straw at this point - a 5-cell BC grade and an 8-cell B grade. I saw the youngest RE in the practice today and I must say that I found his no bullshit responses refreshing.

He basically said what I thought all along - that the 5-cell BC is basically junk and while it is technically possible to get pregnant from an embryo of that grade since the classification schemes we have now are imperfect predictors of an embryo's potential, it would be very usual. Since all of my embryos lost cells last time in the freezing/thawing process, it is very possible the 5-cell embryo will lose too many cells in the thaw to remain viable anyway.

However, the 8-cell B grade embryo is a good embryo and if it thaws well, it has a chance just like any good day 3 embryo. We are going to clean out the freezer and do another medicated FET this month.

I also asked whether the fact that all of my embryos lost cells last time during the thaw was in any way a reflection of the quality or competence of the embryos and he said that it is really a technical issue with the lab and not any embryo-specific problem. I guess that was reassuring in some sense, but it also reaffirmed my feeling that our current clinic is not so up to par in its lab.

I have an appointment in 2 weeks with another RE for a second opinion as we contemplate moving clinics for our next fresh cycle if this FET doesn't pan out. I guess I have mixed feelings about this - I am used to the way things work at my current clinic and I feel a certain sense of loyalty to them. It is also by far the most convenient option for me and I feel like I have a good relationship with the nurses.

On the other hand, I have been at the same clinic for 13 months now with no viable pregnancy (ironically despite what everyone keeps assuring me is an amazing prognosis), I have serious doubts about the practices and quality of the lab, and the institutional attitude is just not so proactive.

It is maddening constantly wondering whether I have just been really unlucky with the last 5 embryos transferred (but do indeed have a great prognosis) or whether there is something major going on that just hasn't been uncovered. Of course, the truth of my situation could certainly lie somewhere in between those 2 possibilities but I have a little trouble sometimes with the many shades of gray:) I also oftentimes wonder whether during many of those IUIs, we also had eggs that fertilized and became embryos but never implanted.

AF arrived full-force late this afternoon so tomorrow it's back to the clinic for baseline and assuming all is clear, back to little blue pills and estrogen headaches...yum.

Lastly, thank you so, so much for all of the support over the past week. Your comments mean so much to me and truly brighten my day when I am feeling down.

11 comments:

  1. I think it makes sense for you to move to another clinic, despite your reservations. I think in our situation the worst thing we can possibly do is look back at something with regret. If you (g-d forbid) go through another failed fresh cycle with this current clinic, you will most likely regret not moving on. So I say onward and upward!
    xoxo

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  2. I completely agree that you should look for another clinic - a fresh pair of eyes/brain etc looking at your case is always a good thing!

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  3. My first set of frozen embryos also did not thaw very well, and did not get me pregnant, but then the clinic improved its technique and Emma is a baby from a FET with the second fresh cycle that I went through. One year later and their technique was a lot better. I think it matters a lot how they freeze the embryos, and if you go to another RE ask what are their chances with FET's as well.

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  4. I'm constantly annoyed by the "wow, we're shocked really, that you didn't get pregnant" response. Being told that I should be a good candidate after a failure probably should be reassuring for the next step, but instead it's annoying.

    I think moving from any RE is hard, especially when the first level support (the nurses) are good. But you would never trust just one person's opinion on something this important in any other part of your life. I agree with the general consensus - it won't hurt you to look around.

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  5. Sometimes it's best to get another opinion. It's hard to leave behind your doctors that you know and are comfortable with though. I will be thinking of you and hoping for the best!!

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  6. I think anytime you're switching doctors for really anything it's stressful. But I agree that some times you need a fresh set(s) of eyes and brain to look at your situation. Good luck, and I hope you find a new clinic that exceeds your expectations.

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  7. I'm sorry that only 1 will most likely survive the thaw, but I'm glad the doctor was honest with you at least. Your plan to find a second opinion sounds good to me. It couldn't hurt, and fresh eyes/techniques might make all the difference. You'll never know unless you try.

    But I really hope you won't get that far, because this FET works out. You deserve this to happen...it's your time!

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  8. Moving clinics always stresses me out but it can be good to have someone start over with you.

    Hopefully you won't need to do it, though!

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  9. I hope this FET works out for you!!! But if it doesn't, I definitely think you should research other clinics. So hoping you won't have to go that route!

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  10. oh i know how you feel, particularly in feeling torn as to whether to change clinics. We tried a number of times to change our clinics for the exact same reason (and how much do I hate it when they would scratch their heads and say "gee, I have no idea why we cant get you pregnant")

    Good luck, I hope this FET brings you your baby xxx

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  11. If you can afford it, a new clinic might be nice. But, good luck with this cycle!

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