I just got a call from Dr. T. He said that this morning (day 3) two of our embryos were looking good at 8 cells, 5 were 'okay' or fair at 6 cells with some fragmentation, and 1 had arrested. He wanted to update me in case I wanted to see whether they could squeeze me in for a day 3 transfer today, especially since 2 embryos are clearly looking better than the rest right now. He did say that he felt the outcome of the cycle would be the same regardless of when we transfer (or if we transfer - meaning that if there is nothing on day 5, it probably wouldn't have resulted in a positive cycle anyway had it been transferred on day 3), but he wanted me to be prepared for the possibility of having nothing to transfer if we press on to blastocyst and he knew that would be very disappointing.
I thought about it, and I guess I feel that if we truly trust in the assumption that what doesn't survive in the lab won't survive in my uterus, it makes sense in my mind to still press on to day 5. The reason being that if the outcome of this cycle will be the same no matter what, I think I would rather start another fresh cycle in a few weeks and have the opportunity to create new embryos than transfer frozen embryos that wouldn't have made it to blastocyst anyway.
I also feel like the disappointment of having nothing to transfer would not be greater than the disappointment of a failed cycle, though I am sure if this happens I will feel regret for not having transferred the 2 higher quality embryos and given them a chance when there was the option…tough choices. Y said he will go along with whatever I decide, so we are pressing on to day 5 for better or worse. I am starting to get the sinking feeling that there is more IVF in our very near future.