My dad sent me an email to let me know that my mom was upset that I hadn't done anything to acknowledge Mother's Day this year. He just wanted to remind me what day it is since we live abroad. Of course I know what day it is, but am I a selfish cow if I want a free pass to explicitly not acknowledge Mother's Day this year?
I am not usually so petty (or actually, petty at all), but I responded with something really vile. The good thing is that I know he won't share it with her and writing something so horrible and petty was actually quite therapeutic. I responded that if she was really upset about it, he could let her know that my children didn't send cards, either.
*While that felt therapeutic of course in the end I had to wish my mom a Happy Mother's Day.
Oh lady. I'm so sorry. Today's definitely going to be a hard one. And I'm sure the email from your father was the last thing you needed. Give yourself some time today to grieve and remember N&A. I'm certain that they are wrapping you in love, holding onto you as tightly as they can. When this day has passed, send your mom an email telling her that while you love her, you need this time to heal. I know she doesn't understand, so be patient with them.
ReplyDeleteSending you love today.
You are not a selfish cow. And I guess I'm vile too because I loved your response.
ReplyDeletePeople keep demanding and demanding of us even when really they should be giving us support. I mean I also found that my parents were not very supportive of my bereaved mother status when I went through the first Mother's Day after losing Adrian. But my husband got me flowers, which meant a lot to me. Hugs to you on this very difficult day.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your parents couldn't recognize how difficult this day would be for you and understand your unwillingness to acknowledge it. I don't think you're selfish at all, and I hope you continue do what you need to do to protect yourself.
ReplyDeleteNo, not selfish, just doing what you need to protect yourself. I hope they understood in some way that the day was hard for you, and if that meant you had to give that respons, so be it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, guys. I think they probably understood when I pointed it out, but it was definitely not obvious to them without me being very upfront about it.
ReplyDeleteSending you love. Please don't feel bad about your comment, they need to understand how hard this is on you.
ReplyDeleteThat is totally not selfish. I kinda think it was selfish for her to complain. I hope they understood. I am very happy you did what you needed to take care of you.
ReplyDeleteI understand why you would want to sit this mother's day out. I wanted to sit out Christmas and I didn't. It went terribly wrong. It would be nice if those we loved could really understand the reasons behind our wanting a break. I'm sorry you didn't get the support from your parents that you needed.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to be there for another person when there's a gaping hole in your own life.
ReplyDeleteI found you on the roundup...
ReplyDeleteThanks for being real and saying what we were all feeling. You had every right to sit this one out. Hugs.