Thank you so much for all of the well wishes over the past week! I apologize that I haven't been better at updating. We did our IUI on Wednesday morning, though based on the complex logic puzzle that exists only in my head and consists of all types of crazy, I am unsure whether the timing was really okay. If AF arrives 14 days past the date of IUI or better yet, I am pregnant, we will assume that it was okay but if AF comes 10-12 days after my IUI, I'll have my doubts about the timing.
We did have TI the morning before IUI, so perhaps that could help the timing issue, if the timing of IUI was indeed off. Speaking of which, I know it's a little (read: extremely) personal, but our sex life has really been a disaster since I got pregnant in October. When I was pregnant, I never wanted to have sex, and then when I miscarried, not only did I not want to, but I couldn't. Since then, Y gets so stressed out and nervous about it, performance anxiety becomes a problem and then I can't help but feel rejected and "gross" (it doesn't help that IF has already made me feel ugly, untouchable, and angry at my body).
While I only had one mature follicle, we got another excellent count for IUI this cycle. Y gets embarrassed when I talk about his super swimmers, so I will just leave it at that:) I wonder if they'll bump up my Puregon dose next cycle. I am not feeling so hopeful about this cycle but I am kind of at peace with that. In the past, I feel like I have spent so much time actively fighting against my hopefulness so that I wouldn't be disappointed. Not being so hopeful makes me feel much calmer and more at peace - does that make any sense?