Well, it looks like I am deep in the middle of the no-data zone - the black box of the 2ww where the side effects of the vast quantities of supplemental progesterone and estrogen are in full-swing, the giddiness of seeing those 2 beautiful embryos is becoming a memory, and the knowledge of the final outcome of this cycle seems impossibly distant.
The IVF cycle is such a rollercoaster of inactivity and activity - you twiddle your thumbs anxiously waiting weeks or months for your cycle to begin - you start cycling and all of the sudden you're in this day-to-day whirlwind of action where things keep changing constantly and you're always on your toes and just thinking from one day to the next and then suddenly after ET, there is this peaceful calm - back to twiddling your thumbs again and back to waiting. At first, I found the peaceful calm after ET a relief, but now I must admit I am getting pretty anxious and nervous.
In fact, I am so freaking nervous I have had little desire to write in my blog because frankly, writing about how I am nervous just makes me feel more nervous. Actually, pretty much everything makes me nervous right now. Our clinic doesn't do an initial beta until 14dp3dt, which I think is REALLY late. I am sure I will end up testing before then, but I want to wait until there is at least a really good chance of getting a 2nd line on a FRER if something worth writing home about is going on. I know I definitely won't be testing on Thursday, which is not only questionably early, but also the due date of my first (lost) pregnancy. After that, who knows...eek.
I know exactly how you're feeling right now. As impossible as it is, I hope these next few days pass quicker for you. This is the hardest part!! Everything crossed...
ReplyDeleteWaiting is the absolute worst, and I feel like that's all we do as infertiles: wait. I hope this week flies by and ends in the best possible results. I have everything crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteWaiting is a killer. Hoping for the best
ReplyDeleteDon't freak out! Oh - and screw the clinic. Go to your GP and get a hafnaya for an earlier test. I've got the awesome "patient under observation" and "infertility: female" free pass to get a beta whenever I want. Seriously. "Hafnaya Kvuah" - it's a thing of beauty. I say go for it, we deserve at least that little bit of special treatment, don't ya think? ;-)
ReplyDeleteI just had my IUI last Thursday and I'm starting to feel the anxiety. :( let's hope we get our BFP ... Ugh. Why is infertility such a damn rollercoaster!?!?
ReplyDeleteHang in there! I'm crossing all my fingers for you. I actually considered going to get a Beta myself as well, you just have to xerox your referral :). I held out though (well, besides the hpts).
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely the most difficult time, isn't it? My clinic tested at 10dp3dt and now I'm glad we didn't have to wait for 14dp! Thinking of you xx
ReplyDeleteI am keeping my fingers crossed for you! I hope the rest of your 2ww goes by fast!
ReplyDeleteRoller coaster is an excellent way to describe it! Hope the time passes quickly for you. What is with the clinics overseas and doing betas so late?!?! I've had the same experience, both here and in Belarus.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you!
Waiting is the worst!!! My clinic wouldn't do a beta before 14 days after transfer either - it sucks! Hang in there!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies! If I were to get a strong second line before my beta (this is in my dream world), I may ask for a beta before 14dp3dt, but otherwise I plan to just stick it out.
ReplyDeleteYou really summed up the whole cycle perfectly here...I remember it all too well. I really hope that this is it for you! I am your newest follower from ICLW and just featured you on my blog! Good luck with this cycle!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout-out Krissi! I just started following your blog:)
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