bed rest, day 10

Yesterday was my first foray into the outside world since getting home from the hospital. Wednesday is my appointment day. In the morning, we went to the MFM and did an ultrasound. There is still an area of bleeding. It is a little smaller than the initial area of bleeding when my last bleeding episode occurred, but I wish it was a lot smaller!

I am doing my best to drink lots of water, take my vitamins, eat well, and rest up in the hope that this damn thing will be reabsorbed and that the separation will heal. Today is my 10th day of bed rest. Honestly it is not so bad so far, if only because it is for a super important cause and I feel like a woman on a mission. I am trying to pace myself like this is a marathon - I pray that these babies will keeping baking for several more months.

We are still grappling with the move for the fellowship. My general feeling is that it is probably best to stay put in Israel for the long-haul now. I am more concerned that the stress of the move could tilt an already precarious situation in the wrong direction than actually going into PTL during the 12-hour flight.

The doctor did say if we are still committed to the move before the babies come and things are stable at 21-22 weeks that might be the golden window to fly. His reasoning was pretty morbid - if something catastrophic happens at that point, there is nothing we can do for the babies anyway, whereas if something happens at ~23-25 weeks, obviously there is something to be done. I try not to think about stuff like that too much, but my hunch is we will probably end up staying here and not flying at all.

Honestly, I think I am too scared to take the risk of flying even if the NICU care might be better in Toronto. It's a complicated decision, and I don't think we are going to be able to make a call on it until the time arrives.

After the MFM, I had an appointment in the afternoon with the hematologist. There are some platelet function tests that I did a few weeks ago that I need to repeat again next week. It's a little annoying they weren't repeated while I was in the hospital because the tests are only done at the hospital and only during certain hours and the hematologist needs to draw them himself. The main goal at this point is to develop a safe plan for my delivery since it may be be complicated by my fibroids, the placental issues, and my bleeding issues.

I am really trying to be more positive about everything. I got so down last week and I was really focused on my worst fears. Thinking about the babies as outside babies who will grow and thrive really helps me and I am trying to overcome my fear of looking at baby stuff. Honestly, spending some of my time looking at cute baby things online makes me feel better about things.

If anyone has any book/tv show/movie recommendations, I have plenty of time on my hands:) So far, I have been watching lots of Community and Party Down, two sitcoms I never got into when they came out.