Jan 20, 2011

On FSH & fellowships

I feel like a huge baby saying this, especially since I am on such a low dose, but the FSH is making me feel kind of miserable (or rather something is making me feel kind of miserable and I am blaming it on the FSH...who knows, maybe I am just fighting a virus). The past few days I have felt exhausted, headache-y and also a little bit dizzy. I find myself counting down the minutes until I think I can appropriately and discreetly slip out from lab and also just being generally unproductive. Ironically, this is not so dissimilar from the way I felt during my brief brush with pregnancy.

With the Clomid I got many of the standard side effects (except for maybe the "Clomid Crazies"), but never to the extent that they affected my ability to function normally. I wonder if I feel this crappy on such a low dose of FSH, how will I manage if we need to up the dose? I was sort of under the vague (but perhaps misguided?) impression that people generally feel fewer side effects with the injectable FSH than with the oral anti-estrogens unless they are in OHSS territory. Also, what's the deal with all of this bruising? With the Ovidrel, which is also subq, I've never bled or bruised, but with the damn Puregon pen I am bleeding at the injection site (and then bruising) every night. Ah, I just need to suck it up.

In the end, we decided to forego the fellowship for now. After many discussions with each other, our families, and our friends, we consulted with a very wise friend who listened to all angles of our situation and helped us to identify the key things that both Y and I need right now. She helped us to realize that this might not be as good an opportunity as it originally seemed and that we will be in a better place in our lives to make such a big move in a year from now. By that time, we will hopefully (G-d willing) be pregnant with a healthy, viable pregnancy. If we are not it will have meant that by that time we've already had several unsuccessful IVF cycles and if that's the case, we will hopefully welcome the opportunity for a break and to re-think our options (adoption, donor eggs, etc.). I am feeling at peace with this decision, but it still sometimes startles me how much IF and our inability vs. desire to start a family has taken over our lives (at least it's for a good cause, right?).

I pray that at this time next year, Y will get a wonderful fellowship opportunity AND we will be with baby(ies) - I know that's asking a lot!

10 comments:

  1. That sucks that you're having such bad side effects from the FSH. Every woman is different in their reaction... I hope it gets better, and that all this is worth it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Grr, my comment just got lost. I am sorry you are having a rough go with the side effects. I hope it is well worth it and that it passes. You must be releaved to have reached a decision about the fellowship. I hope a fab opportunity comes along next year and that you have baby(ies) in tow!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh yikes, I start FSH next week. I'm sorry to hear it's giving you such a hard time. I do know though, that if you apply consistent pressure on the spot for five minutes after you withdraw the needle, the bruising won't be as bad.

    Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh dear. Im starting puregon in few days. bit freaked about that pen!! I never got bleeding or bruising on ovidrel either. I got quite a few side effects on clomid and was only on 50mg. How much puregon are you taking per day? ill be doing 150mg

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can commiserate, generally all the stims/suppressants make me feel exhausted and edgy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Is the medicine at room temperature before you're injecting it? My mom has to inject medication for one of her ailments every day and she taught me to let my Gonal-F warm up a little before injecting it. For me, that stopped the bruising.

    Also, with the FSH I got really tired too. I figured it was just me, but maybe not!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sorry you arent feeling well. I just started clomid and feel terrible. Hopefully it will all be worth it in the end. Iclw #58

    ReplyDelete
  8. Here from ICLW sorry the fsh is making you feel so ill. Can you ice the spot before using puregon? That might help! Take care

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hang in there. Hope you feel better. Lots of bugs going around as well. I think the fellowship decision sounds good. Sometimes you just have to take things one step at a time, and having a baby is a valid priority at this point in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks for the good thoughts and advice, ladies! I am going to try icing the spot before injecting and also bringing the injection pen to room temp before injecting.

    ReplyDelete